i'm feeling terribly miserable thisevening.
so i'm going to have a little moan here to make myself feel better.
i hate being in sheffield. it's horrible. it's lonely. it's boring.
i'm so thankful i've been able to take a few trips away during the past couple of months. going down to london 2 or 3 times. flying across to ireland. going to derby. it's kept me sane.
there are things i do like about being in sheffield. namely, the awesome flat i get to live in. but other than that, i completely hate being here.
i'm stuck doing a course i have absolutely no motivation to do. and it's costing me a fortune to be here. my life savings have all-but-gone after this academic year, not to mention the fact i'm further in debt with my student loan. i must have about £15,000 worth of debt now. i kind of feel like i'm failing at life. suprisingly, it's not a nice feeling.
people try to console me by stating that i only have a few more months here until i graduate.. but that doesn't make it any easier to motivate myself to do the work which i despise doing. it is a shame though, as I put in so much work during the first 2 years of the course, but on a day-to-day basis i struggle to see the big picture.
one of the worst things though.. is that even after i've graduated (assuming i actually do graduate) i have no idea what i am going to do with my life. perhaps that is something i should get excited about. i can do whatever i want with my life. but it doesn't excite me, it scares me.
i guess for now, i just have to take each day as it comes.. starting tomorrow.
- collect the package which is waiting for me at the post office
- post tom his cd back
- send receipts off to hat trick
- buy birthday card/presents for my mum
- possibly make a new video?
- possibly do some uni work?
- explore dailybooth xD
- drive home to durham for the weekend
tom just sent me a track from his upcoming album while i was writing this blog which has actually cheered me up immensely. i still have no idea what i'm doing with my life, but at least now i'm failing at life whilst listening to a pretty boy making pretty music :)
think i'll end this blog post now. ciao.